(2018-05-31) Barker Morning Ritual That Will Make You Happy4 Secrets From Stoicism

Eric Barker: This Is The Morning Ritual That Will Make You Happy: 4 Secrets From Stoicism. The Stoics were big on “the dichotomy of control.” So much of your life is not under your control. You can’t control the world or other people. Often you can’t control what’s going on in your head. The only thing you can control is your deliberate thoughts and actions. So to let our happiness and self-worth hinge on what we cannot control is futile. Ridiculous. (Authentic Happiness)

Life Avenue is going to have its share of potholes. Albert Ellis, one of the most influential psychologists ever, knew that “acceptance” is key to coping with the curve balls life throws at us.

Many of the greats embraced the concept of “Amor Fati.” To not only accept everything that life brings you, good or bad, but to love it. To embrace it. To revel in it.

Amor Fati is a mindset that you take on for making the best out of anything that happens. Treating each and every moment – no matter how challenging – as something to be embraced, not avoided. To not only be okay with it, but love it and be better for it.

To the Stoics, most of what happens is outside of our control, but we have this superpower of being able to love, embrace, accept, and make the most of what does happen

We take pleasures for granted and are frustrated by the difficulties. Yet we readily admit difficulties are inevitable and pleasures must be worked for. It’s totally inconsistent — and the source of most of our bad feelings.

So try taking the difficulties for granted instead of the pleasures. Accept them.

complaining wastes energy on resistance that could be used toward an effective solution

acceptance and pragmatism

think about the future when this “disaster” will (very likely) be trivial. And get some perspective

In five years, are you still going to be mortified, or are you still going to be wracked with grief? Probably not.

Or maybe it will be an epic story of triumph you brag about

Treat Life As A Game

Amor Fati is stepping back and viewing your own life objectively. Amor Fati is the advice that you would give your friends.

It’s not a perfect life, but there is no perfect life. There is only your life. Love it. And rise to the challenges it offers you.

It’s like in a game, right? Let’s say I throw you into a football game. If you stop and spend all your time arguing over the rules, you’re never going play. (Game Playing)

There’s all these different rules that make no sense that are arbitrarily how the game has developed since its inception. The Stoics are asking you in some ways to accept the arbitrary rules. Then they’re saying you play the game with everything you’ve got.