(2009-11-07) Pavlina Separation

It sounds like Steve Pavlina is exploring Alternatives To Traditional Family. This year we both opened ourselves up to having deeper intimate connections with other people (Poly Amory). This was a bit of an exploration process. It gave both of us more clarity to see that our marriage wasn't the best vehicle for our long-term happiness. We were happy in some areas but not in others. We had reached a dead-end and needed to let go of the marriage to get around it. Otherwise we'd end up working harder and harder trying to make each other happy, with worsening results. I learned that I really enjoy relationships based on a deep emotional connection, openness, honesty, trust, compatible interests, and having fun together. I definitely want to have more of that in my life. But I found it very awkward to do this within the scope of my marriage. It was like trying to straddle two different worlds. An open marriage is practically a contradiction in terms. I found that I resonated more with the concept of openness than with the concept of marriage. Erin and I realized that we were disempowering each other by giving too much power to the marriage itself.


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