Alternatives To Traditional Family
What should we do instead?
parents feel greater need to actively raise their children and be actively engaged with them, not just provide food/shelter, etc.
lots of people end up in LionKimbro:SexlessMarriage.
few people have the time and money for a mistress
marriage was designed when people died early
people are Having Kids later
people spend to use up their income; separating increases expenses (and takes away childcare labor supply)
adults show preference for their own blood children
Some alternatives/patterns (could be used in combination)
- note this could apply to staying unmarried but living in a Commune or some other cluster
Serial monogamy without children
Let your kids raise themselves. Latchkey Kid, RaisedByWolves. There's some indication it doesn't matter much (Freakonomics chapter on factors behind kids education success), but I'm not sure how true that is as you go further out on the curve...
Hollywood marriage. Maybe it's a conspiracy that they pretend to be hurt when they break up, when they really all know they're just having fun serial monogamy. Are the kids in on the scam? And of course, the childcare game changes when there's lots of money, and neither parent has a structured DayJob.
Have mistress on the side: the "European" solution
Government managed childcare - didn't go so well in Brave New World
Complex contracts (Pre Nup) to define financial responsibilities over the future of many scenarios.
- I think similar issues will come up in the Network Economy as small groups are created and disbanded quickly with ongoing value accrual (Virtual Company).
Really? Because I feel very few people survive one mother.
Scott Adams notes: You will be tempted to point out in the comments that hippy Commune-s didn’t catch on. I’m not talking about poorly-engineered hippy communes. That’s like comparing a Model-T to a Tesla. I think that with some creative thinking, and maybe some experimenting, society could develop modern alternatives to marriage that remove the divorce problem.
- Steve Pavlina 2009-11-07-PavlinaSeparation
- Lion Kimbro
- Chris Messina http://money.cnn.com/2015/01/29/technology/chris-messina-non-monogamy/index.html
- Michael Ellsberg http://www.ellsberg.com/untangledlove
Family structures are dealt with a great deal in Aldous Huxley's Island.
Something that seems like a challenge to this pattern is handling "exits" (when one member wants to leave) (Exit Voice And Loyalty). What financial value is there in their piece of a communal area? Who controls who the buyer for this space can be? Robert Heinlein's Friday deals with some of these issues a bit... (similar issues apply to Making A Living via Tribalism, and to Model Intentional Community) And what if it's not about someone wanting to leave, but others wanting him to leave? (Ban Ish)
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