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'Reality' is always plural and mutable.
Reality is a Rorschach ink-blot.
Reality is Silly-Putty.
I prefer to create for each hour the happiest, funniest, and most romantic reality tunnel consistent with the signals my brain apprehends.
A mark wants to be hypnotized. He wants to enter the world of magic, and he's willing to be swindled just to have a look at that world.
Never whistle while you're pissing.
Be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
Not all witches are cocksuckers, but all cocksuckers are witches.
If you don't pay attention to every little detail, you miss most of the jokes.
There is no governor anywhere. You are absolutely free.
There ain't no such thing as government interference.
Only 14 physicists signed the petition against the burning of Reich's books in 1957.
The trick is to be independent but not let them know about it.
Challenge a remaining taboo.
We are all living in a novel.
A Universe is created by the participation of its participants.
Belief is the death of intelligence.
The map is not the territory.
The menu is not the meal.
Money is the Schrodinger's Cat of economics.
Do something hedonic today.
How can we live among so many wonders and not be overwhelmed by the sheer mystery of existence?
Do not, I beseech you, call up any that you cannot put down.
Communication is possible only between equals.
Surely you remember that we are n-dimensional?
Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true.
In capitalism, man exploits man. In socialism, it's exactly the opposite.
They were all very nice men when their duty did not call upon them to perform such regrettable acts.
The convenience and comfort of planetside species has very little to do with the cosmic drama.
Cynics are primates who realize the monotonous life-death cycle of terrestrial life, but are not imaginative enough to conceive of future evolution after longevity and escape velocity has been attained.
A single ego is a very narrow view of the world.
Universe may be not only queerer than we think, but queerer than we can think.
Bureaucracies do not die when terminated; they change names.
Is the surface of a planet really the right place for an expanding technological civilization?
Insanity is another viable alternative.
Sufficiently advanced cluelessness is indistinguishable from malice.
If someone does something that makes you crazy, it may be something that keeps them sane.
I think, therefore I am confused.
Society as we know it is based on torture and death, or the threat of torture and death.
If everyone could go into dhyana at will, nobody could be controlled: by fear of death, even.
Every individual is creator of his own universe.
Who is it that seeks the True Self?
One must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing star!
A Discordian is Prohibited from Believing what he reads.
There are trivial truths & there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true.
My own talk should drive me into a state where everything is possible.
Ask a more beautiful question.
Center, Enter, Turn
Remember to Breathe
The first step in any emergency is to take your own pulse.
It's turtles, turtles, turtles, all the way down.
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
It's always a people problem.
Mistakes were made.
Drain the swamp.
Plunge in and quit.
Don't just do something, stand there.
Believe in Magic.
Go places you're not supposed to.
Face your fears.
She seemed grossly unfamiliar, like a strange woman who had yelled at him in a crowd.
Technicolor pachyderms are really too much for me.
Change your organization or change your organization.
It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whenever I have a problem dealing with someone, I notice that I am there.
Self trust is the first secret of success.
Everything human is at least a little bit broken.
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.
Drive out fear.
We are gods. We might as well get good at it.
A poem should be an axe for the frozen sea within.
Reality is the interval between 2 thoughts.
Feelings are facts.
It does not have to be this way.
The degree of a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting attitudes she can bring to bear on the same topic.
The first law of socializing: act like a host.
You can't help the patient and you can't help yourself by emoting.
The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, delirious of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awwww!"
It's hard to solve a problem you're proud of.
The messenger didn't create the message.
Policy is just someone's opinion.
It's easier if you remember to be amused.
How will we know when we are done?
Maybe it's supposed to be this way.
Someday we'll look back on this and laugh. Why not now?
What was the question?
Trust everyone, and cut the cards.
Help others as they wish to be helped.
Grasp a solution, not a straw.
Don't just do something, stand there.
Hope is not a strategy.
If you keep hitting something, you must be aiming at it.
I die daily.
The whole world is conspiring to shower us with blessings.
Sleeping your one life away is bad art.
Don't shit higher than your arse.
I can only please 1 person per day. Today is not your day.
Copyright infringement is your best entertainment value.
Fanaticism consists of redoubling your effort when you have forgotten your aim.
Pretend you're on drugs. Hyperfocus on sensory input.
'Stressed' is 'desserts' spelled backwards.
Do you create or do you destroy?
What are you thinking?
What do you want?
What's your escape?
Words are the least effective way to communicate.
Things are the way they are because they got that way.
An anthropologist is a scientist trained to observe that every society is a little bit mad, including his own. He holds his job by never mentioning this fact explicitly.
Blue costumes are real. Guns are real. Cars with bubble-gum machines on top are real. Cops are a social fiction.
How can you tell the difference between the doctors and the patients? The patients can get better and go home.
People ask me why I have to use bad language all the time. Do you know what I say to them? Shut the fuck up.
The evolutionary function of stupidity is to create intelligence.
I used to be an atheist but I gave it up - I had nothing to say during blow jobs.
Evolution: an unsuccessful attempt to produce a human being.
Categorize statements as either: true; false; relatively true; self-referential; meaningless; indeterminate; strange-loop; or game-rule.
Idealism rescues cynicism and can be parsed, at least in democratic societies, as another word for freedom.
How long do you want to remain at the first step?
All of the Japanese arts recognize that, finally, you have to meet the fear of death in order to do anything�landscape painting, flower arrangements, and so on.
I'm going to live forever, or die trying.
If there isn't any news, invent some.
Give me a cookie.
What the eyes see and the heart covets, let the hand boldly seize.
What - me infallible?
I am a sinner, also.
Three things are required for beauty: wholeness, harmony, radiance.
Things are coming to a head.
Tell no-one what you have seen. You will be contacted shortly.
It's easier to create the future than predict it.
You can just change the rules.
Think individually, act individually.
Everyone makes their own fun. If you don't make it yourself, it isn't fun, it's entertainment.
It's not a lie, it's a gift for fiction.
You can't expect politicians to come up with a vision, they don't have it in them. Poets have to come up with the vision and they have to turn it on so it sparks and catches hold.
The Revolution will not be televised. The Revolution will put you in the driver's seat.
If you are doing business with a religious sonofabitch, get it in writing. His word isn't worth shit; not with the good Lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal.
Do not offer sympathy to the mentally ill. Tell them firmly: I am not paid to listen to this drivel.
Facts all come with points of view.
Avoid meddling in affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Any game can at any time wholly run away with the players.
I'm a hate stylist.
An optimistic mindset finds dozens of possible solutions for every problem that the pessimist regards as incurable.
The world is made of stories, not atoms.
Infinite players continue their play in the expectation of being surprised. If surprise is no longer possible, all play ceases.
Surprise causes finite play to end; it is the reason for infinite play to continue.
The infinite player does not expect only to be amused by surprise, but to be transformed by it, for surprise does not alter some abstract past, but one's own personal past.
There is only one infinite game.
Who do you trust? Who do you serve?
News is something someone wants to suppress. Everything else is advertising.
First, help the follower to be aware.
It is not a matter of exposing one's unchanging identity, the true self that has always been, but a way of exposing one's ceaseless growth, the dynamic self that has yet to be.
With blogging, instead of being famous for 15 minutes, everyone gets to be Famous For Fifteen People.
Control is the opiate of the corporation.
The key with Brutal Sarcasm is to always sow the seeds of redemption with the comment.
It can be hard to distinguish wisdom from fatigue.
An expert is someone who has succeeded in making decisions and judgements simpler through knowing what to pay attention to and what to ignore.
Religion is what the common people see as true, the wise people see as false, and the rulers see as useful.
What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?
Not re-invent the wheel but connect the spokes.
MagIck is one of the subtlest and most difficult of the sciences and arts. There is more opportunity for errors of comprehension, judgement and practice than in any other branch of physics.
I'd like to teach the world to blog, in complex polyphony...
I would like you to go home and ponder the meaning of the word Subvers Ive.
If the government doesn't trust the people, why doesn't it dissolve them and elect a new people?
How can you expect fairness and decency on a planet of sleeping people?
We should always try to have a Tunnel Reality this week bigger, funnier, and more hopefull than we had last week, and we should aim even higher next week.
Nothing is true unless it makes you laugh, but you don't really understand it until it makes you cry.
I always define the Power Elite as me and my friends.
The only intelligent way to discuss politics is on all fours.
Voluntary associations or communes without Alternative Currencies quickly become reabsorbed into the capitalist cash nexus. Voluntary associations with alternative currencies openly declared get ground up in the courts and destroyed. Voluntary associations using covert or secret currencies may actually exist.
Maybe the damned horse can fly!
Weaknesses are generally strengths carried too far.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
Goal-seeking NeatIdea-s are the most dangerous kind.
Never doubt that a Small Group of thoughtful citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.
Give to Attractive Charities!
I am only a RoNin: I have no followers.
My country, right or wrong. When right, to be kept right. When wrong, to be put right. Support an Open Society.
She said to him once, "Do you really think you'll live forever?" He replied, "If not, I'll die trying"
Whatever we do is merely a MedIum for expression.
Common people must be free from all "Foreign or Domestic Olig Archy".
The only intelligent way to discuss politics is on all fours.
Cosmic Love is absolutely Ruthless and Highly Indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like them or not.
In the network's mind there are no limits.
It's always this way on primitive planets. The early stages of Evolut Ion are never pretty.
Most primates lie constantly, because they're afraid of getting caught and pronounced no-good shits.
I am obnoxious and disliked, that cannot be denied.
Government is anarchy's way of making more anarchy.
Do you know how dumb the average person is? Well, half of them are dumber than that.
The enumeration in the Us Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people... The powers not delegated to the United States by the Us Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.
The real secret of MagIck is that the world is made of words, and that if you know the words that the world is made of you can make of it whatever you wish.
What's the best thing you could be working on? Why aren't you?
In the end, unconsciousness is the aim of PureWar.
The primate brain was designed for total success in Universe.
Words bring us to an unpredictable version of reality. They are cultural software, not Yellow cabs.
Number Three arrived Dec29, at 7lb8oz.
Death to the FarmBill!
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince, whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.
A strange game. The only winning move is Not To Play.
Whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.
Happy Fourth Of July! Whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.
It may look like a crisis, but it's only the end of an illusion.
Bill Seitz is a Product Manager/CTO with a track-record of bringing a business perspective to building agile product-development teams for start-ups, and is seeking a senior role in an entrepreneurial organization building disruptive Internet-driven products.
The Magician defines a reality-mesh, and the Robot lives in it.
No-one is apathetic, except when pursuing someone else's goals.
What the thinker thinks, the prover proves.
We are only just smart enough, on average, to be capable of horizontal transfer of memes.